MIA girl....

I've been MIA for a while, haven't I?

Big things are a'brewin in Amanda land....

Quit my job

Going to live in Utah for a month

Working on the coaching business...

Feeling better about life -- even though life is much more up in the air...

Here's a fun exercise...

1) What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
a half marathon

2) Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Yup - I wanted to lose weight and get in better shape and I did...more to go but better than this time last year

3) Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yup -- Camilla gave birth to lil Rowan

4) Did anyone close to you die?
No, thank goodness

5) What countries did you visit?
Canada

6) What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
peace

7) What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

September 16 - the day of the half marathon-I accomplished something I never thought I would

8) What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Quitting my job...taking a big, ballsy step

9) What was your biggest failure?
Not losing all of the weight I wanted to

10) Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes -- my back and my foot

11) What was the best thing you bought?
my car

12) Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Andy - for every struggle and every fear, he meets the challenge and excels

13) Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
There are a few but I'd rather not point them out publically

14) Where did most of your money go?
bills

15) What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Utah

16) What song will always remind you of 2007?
Girlfriend by Avril Lavigne

17) Compared to this time last year, are you:
- happier or sadder? happier about some things, sadder about others
- thinner or fatter? 30 lbs thinner
- richer or poorer? richer but soon to be poorer

18) What do you wish you'd done more of?
spent more time with friends

19) What do you wish you'd done less of?
worried

20) How will you be spending New Year?
at a party with Andy and his neighbours

21) Did you fall in love in 2007?
yes

22) How many one-night stands?
nopers

23) What was your favorite TV program?
The Office

24) Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
yes

25) What was the best book you read?
Middlesex

26) What was your greatest musical discovery?
Death Cab For Cutie - started discovering them in 2006 but this year was the year of them for me

27) What did you want and get?
a new car

28) What did you want and not get?
answers

29) What was your favorite film of this year?
The Holiday

30) What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 34 this year and had one of the worst days of my life...35 will be MUCH better

31) What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
peace

32) How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
cute, preppy, comfy

33) What kept you sane?
Andy, Mer and Jon - my dearest friends

34) Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Steve Carrel

35) What political issue stirred you the most?
the war

36) Who did you miss?
Jon - i didn't see him enough this year

37) Who was the best new person you met?
Maria

38) Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
sometimes when you feel like you're going to jump off a cliff, you're just stepping off the sidewalk

39) Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
"And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make"

who do you think i am?

You Are An ENFJ

The Giver You strive to maintain harmony in relationships, and usually succeed. Articulate and enthusiastic, you are good at making personal connections. Sometimes you idealize relationships too much - and end up being let down. You find the most energy and comfort in social situations ... where you shine. In love, you are very protective and supporting. However, you do need to "feel special" - and it's quite easy for you to get jealous. At work, you are a natural leader. You can help people discover their greatest potential. You would make a good writer, human resources director, or psychologist. How you see yourself: Trusting, idealistic, and expressive When other people don't get you, they see you as: Bossy, inappropriate, and loud

What's Your Personality Type?

Next time she says "Do you want to do a 1/2 marathon with me?..."

i'm making sure she signs up first!

that's what i said to meredith after i finished yesterday...and i finished. when mer came to me and asked if i wanted to do this - at first i thought no way and then i thought what the heck so i signed up...she never did though!

17230 Amanda Lipnack Malvern PA 34 F 3:35:44
only 5:44 off my goal -- and that included 2 potty breaks and a killer toe cramp.

less than a mile to go, meredith called me and asked if i wanted her to walk with me -- i've never been so happy to see her and tai in my life -- they totally kept me sane for the finish and i ran in through the corral and picked up my shiny pretty medal. at the end of the race, waiting for me were 7 of the most important people in my life - they braved traffic and crowds and a very messy eakins oval and cheered me on when there was next to no one left waiting for us walkers.

today has been full of pain -- i think i've discovered i have this nerve problem in my left foot which would explain the pain and my glutes and my right hamstring are KILLING me today but yesterday i won. i won a medal and i accomplished something i never thought i'd be able to do.

now if i could just get over the running hump so i can RUN one of these buggers!

only half?

holy.
shit.

i'm doing a half marathon tomorrow.

i've got to put this into perspective because right now i am panicking.

yes, there are people who will finish this in 1 hour

i will finish it in about 3:30 and that is fine because this is something that is entirely about me. a year ago i couldn't have dreamed of doing a half marathon but tomorrow - 6 months to the day before my 35th birthday, i'll walk/run 13.1 miles

i will wake up at 5:30, jump in the shower and be on the road by 6:10. I will get to the city around 7 and park my car and then i will walk to the start and find my corral -- which is all the way in the back...and that's ok. at 7:45 i'll start moving and i'll move for 13.1 miles - 69168 feet. Doesn't sound so bad when you put it in feet...right? RIGHT?

It will take me a while to cross the starting line because I'll be all the way at the back...but once I do...it's all about me. I have my music, I'll have my water, I have my race number...17230

and when I'm done I'll buy the required "finishers" tshirt because tomorrow morning I'll have finished a half marathon....

right?

30 in 90?

this year i've lost 30 pounds - when i tell people how much they insist that it must actually be more than that because it looks like more which i attribute to the exercise i have been logging but i have another 30 that i want to lose -- actually, i probably have 50 that i want to lose but let's see what 30 looks like...30 made me lose 3 pants sizes...if another 30 did that then i'd be where i want to be.

so tomorrow begins the plan...

i'm going to spinning in the morning...

i packed my lunch tonight and it includes a big salad and some grilled chicken that andy thankfully grilled for me tonight

i am committing to drinking my water - water is needed and will make a big difference...

let's see where this plan lands me one week from tomorrow.

You spin me right round baby right round...

So tonight was my first spinning class and I really liked it! Now, don't get me wrong, my butt is now KILLING me...a gel seat or padded bike shorts will be very important if I keep doing it but I did really like it. It was exactly what I wanted -- it was a good work out, fun music and it didn't feel like it was an hour of work. I'm definitely doing it again...

Today was a very important day as Camilla and Tom welcomed their second son, Rowan Clemente into the world this morning - I shall go meet Rowan tomorrow night and get me lots of new baby smell. It is so interesting how one group of friends has almost exclusively boys and another has almost exclusively girls...

This past weekend was in some ways incredibly magical and in some ways a toughy...but all in all a very good weekend. Friday night I got to catch up with BJ which is always a pure joy...Saturday Andy the kids and I went to the pool and then to one of his neighbour's daughter's birthday party and it was the most fun I've had in a while and in fact it was a magical night. It's strange to have some out of body experiences where you just look around you and realize how blessed you are to be exactly in that place and in that time with the people you are with. Moments like that are pure magic and they are moments I wish I had all of the time.

Sunday was spent watching kids run wild in an amusement park and haveing a blast and Monday was spent doing a 5K, running some errands and then having a bbq at one of my favourite hang outs.

I need to focus on the moments when I have the magic in my life because the magic makes it all worth it.

on the way to cape may....

That song always makes me think of Lawrence Welk -- not sure why, just does.

Spent a lovely weekend in Cape May with some of my nearest and dearest life long friends. It's amazing to me to spend a weekend with people I have known for 20 years and they are no parents with their own kids.

From a conversation I had with C & W's son Jacob:

me: Does your brother like to swim in a swimming pool? (we were talking about how his brother did not like to swim in the ocean)
J: yes
me: Does he swim in Mimi's and Grandpa's pool a lot?
J: yes, he loves that
me: me too, I loved swimming in your Mimi's and Grandpa's pool.
J: you've been there? I don't remember that

Of course you don't Jacob -- I think the last time I swam there was the day your mother found out she was pregnant with you!

It's just nice to have people who have known you forever, who accept you for exactly who you are and that being with feels like old home week!

2 by 2...

The animals are collecting 2 by 2 in my little corner of Southeastern Pennsylvania - it's been raining almost non-stop since Sunday afternoon and I fear it is making me crabby. Which, of course, begs the question...why am I pondering moving to Seattle - the mythologically grayest and rainiest city in the country. Well, Pittsburgh actually has more gray days per annum than Seattle but who am I to judge? Some have suggested packing up my house and heading out there for a year just to see what happens - get a contract job and just go have an adventure and in many ways, that would be the safe way to go - not too much risk but potentially great reward.

But as I sit here today -- I wonder what I always wonder about my plans of moving to Seattle...am I running away from something or running to something? While I would hope it is the latter, my fear is that it is entirely the former.

The Boston 3Day 42 mile?

Well, it's done.

This past weekend I travelled to Boston to participate in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3Day walk. To say it was an amazing experience is an understatement.

First, let me fess up, I didn't do all 60 miles. I walked about 42 miles.

Day 1 was...hot. No, it wasn't hot it was incredibly hot and humid. The rumour floating around camp is that it was 104 degrees. I only walked 17 miles that day. Yes, only. I was supposed to walk 21.5 but I had to listen to my body and know that I couldn't go any further and I'm glad I did listen because it would have been bad.

Day 2 was a bit better weather wise but it was by far the hardest day. I woke up with a pain in my right hip like I've never known. I walked about 7.5 miles and wound up getting myself bussed to lunch. After lunch I tried for 2.5 miles and was in tears through the last mile. I wanted so badly to walk the last day that I decided I needed to not kill myself. I went to the medical tent and this lovely trainer Heidi worked on my hip and performed a miracle as I was pain free when I stood up.

Day 3 was gorgeous weather wise. I was bound and determined to walk the whole thing. I paced myself, I talked to myself, I sang to myself and I walked 16.4 miles. It was almost entirely mental. I wanted to give up so many times but I wanted to finish more. It was totally mind over matter. My feet and legs were in agony but I wanted to finish and I'm SO happy I did. The last half mile was about the most incredible 10 minutes of my life. People cheering and screaming -- I was in tears by the time I was done. Everyone said that finishing was emotional but I wasn't at all prepared for what it was. It was way more than I anticipated. Throughout the weekend I kept thinking "there's no way in hell I'm doing this to myself again" and after the last 10 minutes I knew "I'm so doing this again."

I had a lot of time to think over this weekend and I figured out a lot about myself.

First and foremost, I'm tired of living in chaos. Mental, professional, emotional, physical...I'm going to work at cutting the chaos out of my life. Life is entirely too short to not spend it doing the things you love with the people you love honouring the causes you love. Love is worth fighting for. Life is worth fighting for and if I need to fight harder for some of the things I want, then I will do that. But I won't apologize anymore for being who I am. I won't feel bad about being who I am. I am me. I am lots of things, good and bad but all of them put together make me who I am and I have spent so much of my time trying to be anything but me. Not to say I may not slip into old patterns but I want more from my life and the only reason I'm going to get it is because I go for it.

I also learned to honour my body and be proud of what it can do and not be ashamed of what it can't do. I couldn't walk 60 miles this weekend but I could walk 42 and that, quite frankly, is amazing. There was a time in my life when walking up a flight of stairs was a challenge and this weekend I walked up miles and miles of stairs. Up big hills and down big hills -- over fields and roads and rivers and through the pain, I kept walking. I have fought against my body for so much of life but it felt very good to honour myself and be true.

I wish such an experience on the world around me. I wish that everyone can let the noise around them disappear and focus on what is in front of them. I wish that everyone can live life as it is meant to be lived, fully and strongly. I walked behind people this weekend with signs on their back that said "I walk because I miss my mom". How can we let ourselves forget that in a moment the things in front of us that we cherish can be gone so we need to embrace and honour them in the moment.

These boots are made for walkin...

This weekend I will be walking 60 miles in Boston...details when I return but let's hope for good weather and flat roads :)

just when you thought you knew me....

Benevolent Artist

been a long time

i've been quiet the past few weeks, i know. sorry carrie!

work has been busy as hell and i am in desperate need of a vacation which i am trying like hell to plan.

my 3day walk is in less than 2 weeks...actually 2 weeks from tonight i'll be finished!

i have been slacking on the exercise -- the work life has taken way too much of my time but i'm going to get back into the saddle -- or out of it as the case may be because i have places to go and people to see and things to accomplish.

I just happened to be nowhere near your neighborhood.

Can you name the movie from which that quote comes?

No?

Does the quote below help?

Club Interviewer: Talking here with Cliff Poncier. Cliff, any comments on the "Seattle Sound" and Citizen Dick's place in it?
Cliff Poncier: Well, I don't like to reduce us to just being part of the "Seattle Sound." I'd like to think of us as expanding more. Like, we're huge in Europe right now. I mean, we've got records... uh, a big record just broke in Belgium.
Club Interviewer: Now, a song like "Touch Me, I'm Dick" is about... what?
Cliff Poncier: Well, I think "Touch Me, I'm Dick," in essence, speaks for itself, you know. I think that, you know, that's basically what the song is, um... about... is about, you know... I-I think a lot of people might think it's actually about, you know,"My name is Dick, and, you know, you can touch me," but, I think, you know, it can be seen either way.

Still at a loss?

It's the movie Singles and it is one of my favourites. And it takes place in Seattle - which is where I sit today.

God, I love this city. It feels like home to me in a way that very few other places feel like home. I love the bustle of the city, I love the peeks of water you get as you walk block to block downtown, I love the unending supply of Devil Duckies, I love that one of the 3 most important people in my life (other than my parents) lives here and I love that I know my way around better than many people who live here. Running on Monday afternoon through downtown I was thinking to myself - why don't I just move here? I'd have a friend network as the aforementioned friend lives here and through him I've met a bunch of people. I know a lot of people in the recruiting world who could help me get a job -- I wouldn't be able to live in the size place I do now but I could make a great home here.

And then I think of all I'd leave behind if I lived here. I'd gain something wonderful but I'd lose a lot of wonderful things too. I'd miss out on spending time with my parents, with my closest friends, with their children. I'd miss Philadelphia and all it has to offer. I'd miss my home but god it is tempting.

I remember the first time I landed in Seattle in 1996 and the feeling I had of "home" even at icky SeaTac and I have been here at least 20 times and everytime I'm here, I fall more in love with the city. Maybe I just need to take comfort in the fact that for $300, I can be here anytime!

we're running with the shadows of the night....

So this is how my day began...sort of:




This has been an active week here in Seattle -- a LOT of hard work but a lot of exercise as well which for the most part has felt great. Now if only the scale would move! I'm anxious to weigh myself when I get home to see if I've moved at all -- I really hope so, I'm so sick of this plateau.

holy schmoley

that silly dan hill song is on the radio at the toyota dealership!

ah....mason and julia....

there used to be a soap opera called "santa barbara" and for years, it was my favourite! typical soap drama...rich girl (eden) loves bad boy cop (cruz), jealous sister (kelly - played by robin wright penn) and big brother mason....and his love julia. mason and julia NEVER had it easy -- life always got in the way of their romance...it was great stuff for my 12 year old romance obsessed self!

but mason and julia had a song...dan hill's "never thought" -- hearing the first few notes to this day brings me back to my living room in collegeville, watching the 2 of them, hoping and wishing they'd make it and that i'd make it too....

for some odd reason, "never thought" came flooding into my head on my flight to chicago last night...

Can I touch you?

I cant believe that you are real

How did I ever find you?

You are the dream that saved my life

You are the reason I survived

Baby...I never thought that I could love

Someone as much as I love you

I know its crazy but its true

I never thought that I could need

Someone as much as I need you

I love you...

Can I hold you?

Girl your smile lights up the sky

You are too beautiful for the human eye

You are the dream that never dies

You are the fire that burns inside

Baby...I never thought that I could love

Someone as much as I love you

I know its crazy but its true

I never thought that I could need

Someone as much as I need you

I love you...

You are the sinshine in the sky

You are the sparkle in my eyes

I never thought that I could love

Someone as much as I need you

I know its crazy but its true

I never thought that I could need

Someone as much as I need you

I love you.

25 or 6 to 4

for some god awful reason, this song has been in my head all day.

well, i did it.

i finished a 5k in under 45 minutes...hell, i finished it in under 44 minutes.

it was a great course - very flat.

it was a beautiful morning -- about 64 degrees and totally not humid.

it was a small group -- like 92 or 93?

it was 2 laps around the same course and when i finished the first lap at 22:31 i realized i could do it in under 45 minutes so i really pushed myself. ran a lot more of this than normally. but it felt great and really empowering.

this was the first race i've done without andy either doing it too or being there and while i missed him a lot (and he was my first call when it was done) it was nice for me to know that i'm doing this for ME and not because he is making me or anything like that. i want to find a few more to do this summer and then he and i talked tonight about doing a bunch in the fall. i really like running a race, with a group - it motivates me to push harder. plus when someone laps you at 12 minutes...that makes you realize you have a long way to go but that's ok. i've already come a long way, right?

lil bit of push and pull....

i had a really hectic day at work which flew by -- didn't leave until almost 6:30 but i still made it to the gym - did a few minutes (well, 10) of the eliptical and then weight work. i have something to do tomorrow night but i'm again going to try to get up in the morning and walk/run. i need to do this. i NEED to do this.

i have my plan for marathon training all laid out and it's supposed to start next week but i think i'm going to just begin it this week which means tonight was strength work and then tomorrow is 3 miles so if i get up and out by 5:30, i can be home by 6:30 and get ready to go to work.

so who wants to make sure i get out of bed in time to do this?

the winner takes it all....

hey -- any blog post that starts with Abba is good, right?

i beat Andy in a 5k
i beat Andy in a 5k

ok, we don't HAVE to go into the details that lead me to beating him....we don't have to include that he'd run a 5 mile run the night before in great time, we don't have to include the fact that he was tired, we don't have to include the fact that as we went into the finishing chute he said "ladies first" regardless, when you look at the finishing stats....Amanda *******, some other guy, Andrew *****....HA!

ok, now to be serious for a second, i have been doing a lot of thinking this weekend about goals and what i want and what i want to do and what i want to accomplish.

i am amazingly hard on myself. i don't have nearly enough faith in myself and i don't give myself credit for my accomplishments. i have a good job, a nice home, friends, family and yet because i'm not in great shape and the prettiest girl around, i feel like a failure and it's really annoying me. i am a very kind person and i take very good care of the people in my life but i don't take very good care of myself. so tryng this running thing seems to be a way to take care of myself. now, i feel the need to be clear because i don't really run, i trot a smidge but mostly walk quickly. i can't seem to get past the hump of being able to run and it really bums me out. it makes me very frustrated and very sad and means that i say really horrible things to myself which isn't a good thing to do either.

i went walking this morning in VF park -- not sure how far i went but i walked for an hour and if i'd had more time, i would have done more -- didn't run any off it, just walked...if i'm going to do this half marathon, i really need to kick it into high gear so i'm going to focus on that. stop focusing on what i'm missing or failing or how i continue to worry that if i disappeared tomorrow, no one would notice.

i wonder sometimes if i should go about my life not worrying about that so much - i try so hard to not be a bother that i think i wind up being one. wow, weird catch 22.

ok, wow, where did this blog post go...certainly not where i thought it would when i started typing. but back to my goals...i want to just be able to run more and more and make it not so hard on me. i want to get back into the weightloss scheme, get off this plateau and feel like at the end of the day that when Andy tells me how proud he is of me, i feel that pride too.

ouchy ouch ouch?

so wednesday night i had this team building thing for work and we did a high ropes course. i've done them before but not since i went to camp which is coming up on *gulp* 20 years ago.

i did an element that looked like this
only imagine that 35 feet in the air.

for those who have met me and i can't imagine someone is reading this who *hasn't* met me -- you know i'm not the most graceful person on the planet but there i was 35 feet in the air and i did a split that i had no clue i was capable of doing. maybe i should use that as a way to get dates? :)

and i have bruises on my right arm that look like track marks. gorgeous!

tomorrow is another 5k -- this one WITH andy as opposed to having him just cheer for me at the end. i'm glad we are doing this together - it's fun for both of us...well, if by fun we mean 45 minutes of hard work for me.

i don't have my usual sunday morning walking partner as kathleen is in VA visiting her dad for father's day so maybe i'll put a few episodes of 'this american life' on my ipod and do ridley creek myself early in the morning before it gets too hot. we shall see!