hey -- any blog post that starts with Abba is good, right?
i beat Andy in a 5k
i beat Andy in a 5k
ok, we don't HAVE to go into the details that lead me to beating him....we don't have to include that he'd run a 5 mile run the night before in great time, we don't have to include the fact that he was tired, we don't have to include the fact that as we went into the finishing chute he said "ladies first" regardless, when you look at the finishing stats....Amanda *******, some other guy, Andrew *****....HA!
ok, now to be serious for a second, i have been doing a lot of thinking this weekend about goals and what i want and what i want to do and what i want to accomplish.
i am amazingly hard on myself. i don't have nearly enough faith in myself and i don't give myself credit for my accomplishments. i have a good job, a nice home, friends, family and yet because i'm not in great shape and the prettiest girl around, i feel like a failure and it's really annoying me. i am a very kind person and i take very good care of the people in my life but i don't take very good care of myself. so tryng this running thing seems to be a way to take care of myself. now, i feel the need to be clear because i don't really run, i trot a smidge but mostly walk quickly. i can't seem to get past the hump of being able to run and it really bums me out. it makes me very frustrated and very sad and means that i say really horrible things to myself which isn't a good thing to do either.
i went walking this morning in VF park -- not sure how far i went but i walked for an hour and if i'd had more time, i would have done more -- didn't run any off it, just walked...if i'm going to do this half marathon, i really need to kick it into high gear so i'm going to focus on that. stop focusing on what i'm missing or failing or how i continue to worry that if i disappeared tomorrow, no one would notice.
i wonder sometimes if i should go about my life not worrying about that so much - i try so hard to not be a bother that i think i wind up being one. wow, weird catch 22.
ok, wow, where did this blog post go...certainly not where i thought it would when i started typing. but back to my goals...i want to just be able to run more and more and make it not so hard on me. i want to get back into the weightloss scheme, get off this plateau and feel like at the end of the day that when Andy tells me how proud he is of me, i feel that pride too.
June 17, 2007
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4 comments:
It's hard for me to yell at you for being so hard on yourself because I'm the very same way! And you deserve to spend time working towards your goals!
What really helped me with my training was to start running with a group. I know some people don't like that, but it's always something to try. Do you have a local Galloway group? Sometimes they have all different pace levels.
If that doesn't work out, just ramp it up slowly. Even if you can get your walking speed up, you'll be fine mostly walking the marathon! So push doubts of finishing out of your head. You WILL finish.
Believe me, I was NOT a runner. And I had to build up to it very slowly. And I'm still not superfast by any means. But I'm getting happier with progress.
I'm so amazingly proud of you and I know that you can do this!
Sarah, I've actually looked for the local Galloway group and while that isn't a bad idea, it's a challenge because I can't really run very far. I feel like I have to be able to run a lot more than I do to join a group because right now, I'm way too slow.
Yes yes yes. You beat me.
Now, do i have to wear the skin tight leather briefs with the fluffy horse tail in the back to WORK all day, or just around on a day that I'm not at work?
~andy
HONEY! I TOLD you that we weren't supposed to TELL people about that! Sheesh! Now everyone's going to want to join us for "movie night" :)
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