The Boston 3Day 42 mile?

Well, it's done.

This past weekend I travelled to Boston to participate in the Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer 3Day walk. To say it was an amazing experience is an understatement.

First, let me fess up, I didn't do all 60 miles. I walked about 42 miles.

Day 1 was...hot. No, it wasn't hot it was incredibly hot and humid. The rumour floating around camp is that it was 104 degrees. I only walked 17 miles that day. Yes, only. I was supposed to walk 21.5 but I had to listen to my body and know that I couldn't go any further and I'm glad I did listen because it would have been bad.

Day 2 was a bit better weather wise but it was by far the hardest day. I woke up with a pain in my right hip like I've never known. I walked about 7.5 miles and wound up getting myself bussed to lunch. After lunch I tried for 2.5 miles and was in tears through the last mile. I wanted so badly to walk the last day that I decided I needed to not kill myself. I went to the medical tent and this lovely trainer Heidi worked on my hip and performed a miracle as I was pain free when I stood up.

Day 3 was gorgeous weather wise. I was bound and determined to walk the whole thing. I paced myself, I talked to myself, I sang to myself and I walked 16.4 miles. It was almost entirely mental. I wanted to give up so many times but I wanted to finish more. It was totally mind over matter. My feet and legs were in agony but I wanted to finish and I'm SO happy I did. The last half mile was about the most incredible 10 minutes of my life. People cheering and screaming -- I was in tears by the time I was done. Everyone said that finishing was emotional but I wasn't at all prepared for what it was. It was way more than I anticipated. Throughout the weekend I kept thinking "there's no way in hell I'm doing this to myself again" and after the last 10 minutes I knew "I'm so doing this again."

I had a lot of time to think over this weekend and I figured out a lot about myself.

First and foremost, I'm tired of living in chaos. Mental, professional, emotional, physical...I'm going to work at cutting the chaos out of my life. Life is entirely too short to not spend it doing the things you love with the people you love honouring the causes you love. Love is worth fighting for. Life is worth fighting for and if I need to fight harder for some of the things I want, then I will do that. But I won't apologize anymore for being who I am. I won't feel bad about being who I am. I am me. I am lots of things, good and bad but all of them put together make me who I am and I have spent so much of my time trying to be anything but me. Not to say I may not slip into old patterns but I want more from my life and the only reason I'm going to get it is because I go for it.

I also learned to honour my body and be proud of what it can do and not be ashamed of what it can't do. I couldn't walk 60 miles this weekend but I could walk 42 and that, quite frankly, is amazing. There was a time in my life when walking up a flight of stairs was a challenge and this weekend I walked up miles and miles of stairs. Up big hills and down big hills -- over fields and roads and rivers and through the pain, I kept walking. I have fought against my body for so much of life but it felt very good to honour myself and be true.

I wish such an experience on the world around me. I wish that everyone can let the noise around them disappear and focus on what is in front of them. I wish that everyone can live life as it is meant to be lived, fully and strongly. I walked behind people this weekend with signs on their back that said "I walk because I miss my mom". How can we let ourselves forget that in a moment the things in front of us that we cherish can be gone so we need to embrace and honour them in the moment.